My Blessings

Who knew it was possible to love someone so much?
How do you explain the love a parent has for their child or children? I really am at a loss for words when it comes to this. One thing I do know is that I have learned so much about God through my boys. God has shown me, via my boys, that no matter what I do, He will always love me. Through their lives, He has shown me that no matter how angry they get at me, my love for them doesn't waver one bit, as is true of my Lord. He has shown me that despite my feelings about myself and my shortcomings, He doesn't see them. He thinks I'm just right. Through my boys, my God has shown me that He wants me to succeed and only wants the best for me. My boys lives have also shown me that it is my job (and Channing's) to lead them on the right path. And when they stray from that path, I must discipline them so that they will be kept safe. EXACTLY what God does with me. Thank you, God, for my precious boys and for the lessons you are teaching me through them. I pray that I will make you proud as I raise them to love and to fear You.
May this be the only motorcycle my boys ever ride!
LOVE THESE BOYS!!!
Look at that smile.

When Doing a Detox...

...Don't cheat! You are only cheating yourself, I promise! As some of you may already know from reading my post last week, Channing and I are doing a 21 day detox and cleanse. Let me give you a little update:

I did two days of the detox, with the supplements and diet, and had to stop taking the supplements because they were affecting Asher's little body too (yes, I'm still nursing. It's only once, maybe twice a day. We're working our way to 18 months, our stopping point). Not only was my body being cleaned out, but his was too. For some reason, I don't think that's good for a one year old. Standard Process doesn't think so either. ;)

I had to stop with the supplements, but I have kept with the diet. As of the weekend, I had lost three pounds. Pretty good. I was pleased. I did cheat on Saturday night because some friends and I attended a going away dinner for a friend, and Mexican doesn't quite fit the detox diet. Oh well. I felt ok with it because it was one day. Then yesterday happened...

Channing's mom was in town and took us out to eat at a super yummy restaurant. I did well. I ordered my healthy detox-style dish. Then, she got dessert. One bite couldn't hurt, right? I'm sure it wouldn't, but I took like five! AAAAGH! What got into me?! Next up, Channing and I decided to go to a movie (with his mother's urging. She's so great!). As soon as we walked in, we smelled the popcorn. I mean, who goes to the movie and doesn't get popcorn?!

So Channing starts smelling it and talking about how good it would taste, but that we are on the detox and can't have any. I couldn't leave it at that, though. Nooooo...I pulled, what I realized this morning was, an "Eve". I, like Eve with the apple in the book of Genesis, urged Channing to get some popcorn. I mean, how bad could one night of cheating be? We'll be all detoxed out. We still have more than a week and a half. After some strong urging, he conceded. We got the popcorn and a drink.

This morning, I woke up feeling AWFUL! I am so serious! I feel nauseated and my stomach feels queasy. That's when it hit me, what I had done. I had convinced my husband, who NEVER cheats on these things, to cheat and eat something (that didn't even taste good, mind you) unhealthy, and that did not fit the recommended diet. Just call me Eve! Eve convinced Adam to eat the forbidden fruit, and we all know how that turned out. Channing also feels a little yucky. I feel terrible! Physically, I feel awful, and mentally, I feel bad too. What was I thinking?!

This experience has taught me several lessons. One lesson it's taught me is that some of the foods I had previously enjoyed so much are SO awful for me. It took eating super healthy for a week and a half to show me the effects of eating junk, even if it's just one meal! Think of how our bodies adapt to these junk foods and stop giving us warning signals that these things are bad. I mean, normally when I eat popcorn and have a soft drink, I don't notice anything. After eating healthy for a week and a half, though, I really noticed the effects of the unhealthy foods last night.

Another lesson it has taught me is the power of my influence with my husband. The Bible teaches of women's influence with men. This situation has reminded me that I need to make sure my influence with Channing is godly and has his best interests at heart. In last night's case, it was total selfishness. I was more concerned with my fleshly desires than in what was best for his health and my own. I was tempted and fell, and I brought Channing with me.

In Joyce Meyer's book, Battlefield of the Mind, she says, "The Holy Spirit is quick to remind you if your mind is beginning to take you in a wrong direction, then the decision becomes yours. Will you flow in the mind of the flesh or in the mind of the Spirit? One leads to death, the other life. The choice is yours." WOW! How true?! Last night, I knew I was making a poor decision, but I was flowing in the mind of the flesh. Man!

Today is a new day, though. Thank God that for His mercies and that He is always teaching me! I don't like feeling sick, but I am so thankful that my Lord cares enough to teach me and to lead me in holiness! What a powerful lesson!

Now the mind of the flesh {which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit} is death {death that compromises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter}. But the mind of the {Holy} Spirit is life and {soul} peace {both now and forever}. Romans 8:6

So, if you ever do a detox, DON'T CHEAT! Can I just say, I'm living and breathing proof that it's not worth it.

UPDATE: It appears that Channing and I have food poisoning. Based on what I've read about the symptoms we are having (and some of the food we ate last night), I'm 99% sure that's what we have. PLEASE PRAY FOR US! It's really hard when both parents are sick. Tristan can entertain himself, but Asher, not so much. Too, Channing really needs to be able to finish his week out at work, and tomorrow is his last day. Our patients need him.
Tristan has been praying for us, and that has been really sweet.
Thank you for your prayers. I hope we'll wake up refreshed tomorrow. I read that some cases can last for a week! However, my God is Jehovah-rapha, the GOD THAT HEALS. I fully believe that I am going to be a new woman tomorrow. Praise God. Thank you, again, for your prayers!

...As You Believed It Would

A couple of weeks back, I felt the urge to read Jesus' Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:1-7:28). I was struggling in some areas, and I felt like the Sermon on the Mount was a great place to find some answers and some reassurance for what I was dealing with. So I read the Sermon and was incredibly enlightened. However, I felt like there was more that God was wanting to show me, so I read on. That is when He led me to the passage that told of Jesus healing the centurion's servant.

I've read the story about the centurion's servant many, many times, but this time, God wanted to speak to me a particular phrase that I may not have spent enough time on. For those of you who may not know much about this particular passage, let me fill you in:

Jesus entered Capernaum, after his Sermon on the Mount, and a centurion came to Him, asking Him for help. The centurion told Jesus that his servant was at home "paralyzed and in terrible suffering." Jesus immediately told the man that He would go to his house and heal his servant. This is the point where the centurion amazed Jesus (and probably all those around them) with his faith. He told Jesus, "...just say the word, and my servant will be healed...". He says more, and if you haven't read it, you can find it in Matthew 8:5-13.
Verse 10 says, "When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following Him, 'I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with so much faith.'".

This man, this centurion, was so sure of His faith in Jesus Christ, that he knew that His servant would be healed simply by His words. That was a HUGE deal. However, the phrase that echoed in my mind after reading this story was this:

Then Jesus said to the centurion, "Go! It will be done just as you believed it would." And his servant was healed at that very hour.

Specifically, "Go! It will be done just as you believed..." Those four words echoed in my head, "just as you believed... just as you believed... just as you believed..." I feel like God was trying to remind me that what happens around me is often a result of my faith, or lack thereof. Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." And in Matthew 21:22, Jesus said, "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

In other words, if I am in God's will, and if I am pursuing Him with all of my heart, I needn't worry about my worries (if that makes any sort of sense). He is in control. He knows what is on my heart. He knows the desires I have. I need to stop doubting. I have heard it said, "Believe and Receive or Doubt and Do Without", and I completely believe that, although I often lose my way. When things get hard, I sometimes pray to God, ask Him for help, but plan my own way of escape. When I do this, I usually receive exactly what I believe, just like Jesus told the centurion.

You see, Jesus sees my heart. Although He hears my words of faith and my prayer needs, my beliefs are the things fulfilled. Too many times, I believe I'm going to be left to deal with the situation. AND too many times, that's exactly what I end up with. It's based on MY OWN BELIEF, not on God's unwillingness to help me. I am not a baby Christian, and He expects more from me.

Many times, though, God has rescued me by His great mercy and compassion, and I am SO thankful for that! Where would I be without His daily mercies??? I LOVE this verse, " The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end: they are new every morning..." (Lamentations 3:23-24 RSV). Thank you, Lord!!! EVERY MORNING He showers us with new mercies. WOW! Do I shower others with new mercies every day? I'm pretty sure I don't. God, you are amazing!

Lord, you never cease to amaze me. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the new mercies that await me each and every morning. Thank you that despite my sometimes floundering attempts at faith, you don't give up on me. I pray that you will fill me with the faith that can only come from the Holy Spirit. My trust is in YOU. I offer my life as a living sacrifice. I BELIEVE IN YOU! I believe, I believe, I believe. I love you, Lord. I pray blessings over all those who are hurting right now, Lord. I pray your peace over each of them. I pray that you will encourage them and strengthen them. I pray that their youth will be renewed like the eagle's. Lord, you are awesome! In Jesus Name, Amen.


Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy Name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagles. Psalm 103:1-5

Seriously, God?!

As I sit here and type, I am in utter awe of our God. He is SO amazing. Where do I begin?

Ok, so if you've been keeping up with my blog much over the past couple of weeks, you've probably seen the posts I've shared about what God is teaching me right now. I have been asking Him for wisdom and understanding. Just yesterday, I prayed, "Guide me in Your truth and teach me, my God, my Savior." Psalm 25:5. Well guess what? As usual, God does not disappoint.

This morning, I had a family member do something that really upset me. It upset me so much because it was dishonest and deceptive, and I felt that Channing and I were taken advantage of in a big way (there I go again, right?). I don't want to get into specifics, but I'll just say that I've had a really hard time with it.

As soon as I realized what happened, I immediately became angry (poor Channing. He had to sit through probably 30 minutes of me griping and complaining). My anger then turned to sadness. I just couldn't believe that this person would do this and be so deceptive about it. I mean, it really upset me. I had all these ways that I was going to "fix" this situation. I was determined not to reward this bad behavior. If our loved one was going to do this, then I was going to retaliate with that. I was making plans!

I came home for lunch, and after I made my sandwich, I thought I would get into God's Word a little bit while I ate. My first thought was to read today's lesson from my Proverbs study, but then I remembered it was in the car Channing is driving (and he's not home). Since I didn't have that, I pondered what I should read, then out of the blue I thought of my "Life on Purpose for Women" devotional. Channing bought it for me years ago, and I still haven't gotten through it. It seems I always have so many other books going. Anyway, in the past month or two, I have read the first couple of days of the devotional. So I went and grabbed it off the shelf and brought it to the table where I was eating. I opened the book up, and guess what was on the page???

Winning Battles God's Way

Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the Lord, and He will deliver you. Proverbs 20:22

Ummmm....YES, PEOPLE!!! God is listening and He does care! He hears every word, not that I didn't already know that. I mean, He's made sure to point it out to me EVERY day lately! WOW!!!

Some other nuggets from the devotion:

It seems that one of the hardest things for us to do is to wait for God to deliver us when we are victims of wrongdoing. Often our first reaction is to become angry (yep!), offended (check!), or to retaliate somehow (how embarrassing, but yes!). Unfortunately, when we do that, we usually forfeit any help we might have gotten from the Lord.

Yes, there are times we may have to take appropriate action-perhaps even legal action-but it should only be at God's direction and with His approval. Otherwise, it will be futile, or even disastrous. If you are in need of deliverance from injustice today, be encouraged by God's promise to you: "The Lord will vindicate His people and have compassion on His servants." Psalm 135:14

And a prayer:

Lord, when I'm a victim of injustice, help me to see Your direction above everyone else's. Show me when to take appropriate action and when to wait on You for deliverance. Teach me how to let You fight my battles for me so that I can gain the victory every time. Thank you for promising to be my Vindicator!
In Jesus Name, AMEN!!!

My greatest prayer is that this brings someone hope. God has been showing up in HUGE ways in my life lately, and I am in utter amazement of Him. However, He wants you to know that He loves you too. He cares about your problems and wants to reach out to you and to teach you as well. Matthew 6:33 says, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." I am living proof that this verse is TRUE. Thank you, Lord!!!

Lord, I am amazed by YOU!

I Asked, and He Delivered

This morning as I prayed, I asked the Lord to show me areas of sin in my life, areas that I may not be aware of. I didn't hear or feel an immediate poke in the ribs, but shortly thereafter, I checked my email. I received an email from a great friend who shared some of the struggles she has had to overcome and thought that maybe I dealt with some of the same things. My first response was that no, those weren't struggles of mine. I emailed her back, thanked her for sharing her wisdom, and kind of left it at that. However, the Holy Spirit didn't quite leave it at that. I just kept thinking about the email. It has been on my mind all morning.

I came upstairs this afternoon to pray, and I felt a nudge to check my email, so I did. There, in my inbox, was another email from my sweet friend who shared more specifically of the struggles she has overcome and an apology for assuming that I dealt with the same struggles. Immediately, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit and had another "AHA!" moment. I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me and say, "Ah hem...(how do you spell the clearing of a throat?). You asked me to show you areas of sin in your life. Ah hem...".

Oh!!! I got it, Lord!!! You see, with the first email, I was blinded by my own sin, my own pride. It took that second nudge to show me. The blinders came off, and I indeed realized that my friend was right. She showed me an area of sin that I was blinded to.

Thank you, sweet sweet friend (you know who you are). Thank you, LORD, that you haven't given up on me. I asked, and YOU delivered. Praise God!

"I am confident that the good work God has begun in me will be perfected." Philippians 1:6

AHA!

If you read my last post, you saw that God allowed me to sit in on my own trial, and I got to personally hear Jesus take the penalty for each of my sins. It was a powerful, powerful time for me. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check out my last post.

What's even more amazing is that while I was at church on Sunday, God made His great reveal to me. As Channing and I entered the sanctuary, I saw the sacraments. We were going to be taking communion. Immediately, I had the great "AHA!" moment. I realized that on Wednesday, God was directly preparing me for what was to come Sunday. He allowed me to sit in on my trial so that when I took communion on Sunday, I would truly realize the great sacrifice that Jesus made for me. It was SO POWERFUL. It reinforced to me that God is there with me all the time. He hears my every prayer. He knows the struggles I am facing. It was reinforcement that I am going to be ok.

I share this to give you hope. I think we all go through times where we feel disconnected and far from God; times where we think He has much more important things to deal with than whether or not our child gets over his cold, whether or not our work goes well, whether or not He cares that we are hurting. Let me assure you, He does hear, He does care. Last week, He showed me that He hears everything I'm saying to Him. It has increased my faith, and I hope it helps yours. Trust in Him. According to the Psalms, He is:

• The One enthroned in Heaven
• Father
• My King
• a Righteous Judge
• A Refuge for the oppressed
  
• He who avenges blood
• the helper of the fatherless
• the LORD who counsels me
• my rock
• my fortress
• my deliverer
• my shield
• the horn of my salvation
• my stronghold
• the Most High
• God my Savior
• the God of truth
• he who forms the hearts of all
• my loving God
• my honor
• my help
• A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows
• my hope
  
• my confidence

Today, I took the time to pray the names of God, and I could sense the presence of the Holy Spirit. AMAZING! Just in case you don't know them, here they are:

Adonai: Lord, Master
Jehovah-shalom: The Lord is Peace
El Elyon: The God Most High
Jehovah-sabaoth: The Lord of Hosts
Elohim: The Creator
Jehovah-mekoddishkem: The Lord who Sanctifies You
El Olam: The Everlasting God
Jehovah-jireh: The Lord Will Provide
El Shaddai: The All-Sufficient One
Jehovah-raah: The Lord my Shepherd
Yahweh: Lord (Jehovah)
Jehovah-rapha: The Lord who Heals
El Roi: The God who Sees
Jehovah-shammah: The Lord is There
Quanna: Jealous
Jehovah-tsidkenu: The Lord Our Righteousness
Jehovah-nissi: The Lord my Banner

Today, I hope you know that YOU are loved and cherished.

The Servant Life

A couple of months ago (maybe longer, I can't remember), I did a personality profile at church. I posted about my findings. Anyway, one of the things I learned about myself is that I have a fear of being taken advantage of; it was listed as part of my personality. After reading that, I realized it is completely true. I often have that nagging fear in the back of my head and it drives me nuts. I don't like for anyone to be taken advantage of, and that includes myself. When someone I care about is taken advantage of, I stand up for them. When I feel taken advantage of, my natural instinct is to pull away from the person or situation that I feel is taking advantage. Well, over the past several days, I have been reading Jesus' teachings in Matthew out of The Message Translation (can I just say, I love The Message Translation?!). Every day, I have read the same few chapters because I am really trying to soak them into my head and heart. During these readings, one verse just keeps jumping out at me. It's found in the fifth chapter:

And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life.

For some of you, this is probably a no-brainer. However, for me, it's HUGE. This is something that requires a lot of focus and determination for me. I have to choose not to take offense when taken advantage of. I have to choose to use those situations as times of servanthood. I don't know if any of you out there are like me, but if you are, you know what I'm saying. It's tough. It is part of my personality, but it is not set in stone. Today, I am going to choose to work on this area of myself. I am choosing to turn this area over to God, ask for His help, and I am going to do my part as well. I'm sure I won't always get it right, but I intend to grow in this area.
Do you have an area in your personality or ways that needs work? If not, as my pastor would say, that may be your problem! Ha! I'm kidding~kinda! =D