I Just Have to Ask...

...you mothers out there (and if you are/were a tiny pregnant person, this question is not for you), did you kind of envision your pregnancy body a little differently than it actually turned out? I ask because long before I ever had my first child, I just naturally assumed that I would be this cute little tiny pregnant woman with a little volleyball up front. You see, I have always had kind of a small frame. If you knew me in high school, you know I was pretty scary skinny. It seriously didn't matter what I ate, I was a stick. In college, I gained some weight but still fit into small clothes. Married life, the same. My mom warned me that I would be a huge pregnant person, but I didn't believe her. I had never been "huge" in my life. Um, yeah...I was wrong.

When I got pregnant with Tristan, I was big, bigger than big...B-I-G! My stomach was seriously humongous. I wore XS or S in pants, but XL in tops by the end of my pregnancy...and they were getting small! It was a common occurrence to be asked if I was expecting twins or to be told that I was HUGE (with big round saucer eyes gaping at my belly). With Asher, even bigger. Seriously, with Asher, we thought we were having at least a 10 pounder (he was only nine).

So I am embarrassed to admit that when I found out I was expecting this baby, I immediately thought, "Oh no. Here I go again. I'm going to be SO big and get so many hurtful comments." I stressed about it for a while. I let it consume my days, just wondering how big I would get and what people would say and think.
But a month or so again, I finally got over it. I just faced facts that I get big when I'm pregnant. I carry my babies right out front (and I mean...right out front...waaaay right out front), and nothing about that is going to change. One thing I can change is eating Wendy's frosties every night. I'm not doing that this time. ;) I also didn't start out as heavy this pregnancy as I did the last, but still, I'm going to have a great BIG jolly belly.

I am proud of it, though. My boys are worth every pound, every stretch mark (if any guys read my blog, SORRY! Gross, I know!), every thoughtless comment, every painful push. I wouldn't trade them for the world.
That's how I feel about this baby too. I am so filled with joy about the blessing that this baby is bringing to our lives. I am so excited to see what God has planned for him or her. We had not planned to get pregnant so quickly, but so many things have shown us that God has a very special plan for this little one. I mean, just seeing the signs from months back, long before we were pregnant, that this baby was coming totally amazes me.

Today, I am quickly approaching the 17th week of my pregnancy. I look like some of my friends who are due in February and March, but you know what? That's ok. I'm sure I won't make any "Fit Pregnancy" covers, but I know that I have a sweet precious little baby kicking in there (I love feeling it! By far, my favorite part of pregnancy), and for that, I am so grateful.

Ok, that was a little pep talk to myself! ;) To all you tiny cute little pregnant women out there, I would still love to have your tiny bellies. :) I just know that I won't. I guess I'll just convince myself that I've got a tiny belly, and when people tell me I'm huge, I'll look at them with stunned eyes, and say, "Who are you talking to? I know you don't mean me." And for those of you mamas out there with the great big bellies, you embrace your bellies too! Who cares what people say?! You are carrying around very special blessings, and that's what matters most. :)

Love you all and hope you had a very Merry Christmas! I was planning to take time off from blogging, but Channing is getting ready for work, the boys are gone to the lake, and I'm too lazy to take down Christmas decorations (ugh...I dread it!). So here I am. :)

Oh, and a BIG CONGRATULATIONS to my sweet friend, Rachael, who is expecting a baby in September!!! WOO HOO! So thrilled for you! Can't wait to meet that sweet blessing. :)

Alrighty, guys. That's all I've got. If you have anything to share about your current pregnancy or those past, please share. You'll be hearing a lot more from me on this kind of stuff. I always love sharing the comments I get. They haven't started yet (from strangers anyway) because they all probably assume I'm six months along or something. As soon as I really start growing, they'll start flooding in. :):):)

OH! ONE MORE THING...
I'm down to less than two weeks in deciding whether or not to find out what we're having. We had to reschedule our doctor's appointment for the week after next, and they'll do the ultrasound then. Channing doesn't want to find out, but I kind of do (some days, other days I don't). So, pray that we'll make the right decision for us. I have so many arguments for both sides (you'll probably see them in the coming days). We just have to decide what's best for us. Who knows what will happen...
My head tells me it's a boy, but for some reason, I'm really suspecting girl. Hmmmm....
Time will tell, I guess...