Thursday's Random Thoughts

It's been a long time since I've written one of these, but things haven't changed. My mind constantly wanders. There are so many things that perplex me. Am I alone in this?
Here goes:

It goes without saying that most of us have a secret sock snatcher, right? I mean, we all end up with stray socks. None of us knows what happens to socks when they go in the washer and dryer. Two go in, one comes out. We don't know why and probably never will. At my house, we have that issue, but we also have a larger issue...we have a shoe snatcher. It never fails, my kids need their shoes for school or for a random family outing, and we'll find one (usually in some random room of the house) with no sign of the other. What in the world?! It happens to each of my kids at least once a week. How do two shoes, a pair, get separated so far from their partners?

Secret smokers...is there such a thing? I say there's not. We all know at least one. The random family member or friend who sneaks around and thinks the rest of us have no idea. Oh, we know. Everyone knows. Why hide it? If you do it, you don't have a problem with it, why be so secretive? Secret smokers are never as secret as they think. The rest of us, though, will just continue to pretend that we have no idea.

You seen the Forever Lazy? I know you have. If you haven't, climb out from under that rock and click on the link. I dare say it's the worst "as seen on tv" product there is. Ok, ok...I know I spent a lot of time ragging on the Snuggie and then bought one for every member of my family and Channing's, but the Forever Lazy is worse. Who in their right mind would put on a zip up fleece jumper...as an adult?! Not only is it a huge hassle, but you'd look ridiculous. "Oh, but wait", you say. "What about the front zipper and 'drop seat' for those times of emergency, when duty calls (aka gotta go potty)?". Yes, my friends, a prime selling point in the commercial for this product is that it has a front zipper and "drop seat" for bathroom breaks. Ok...GRRRROOOOOSSSSSS!!! If I ever find out someone I know has worn a F.L. to the bathroom and unzipped the butt of the thing to go to the bathroom, not only will you never hear the end of it, I'll never look at you the same again. That is sick. Who does that?! How is it even possible? Are you in your noodle under it? No underwear? No pants. Someone please explain this to me. It keeps me up at night.

As I was leaving the prayer meeting at church a couple of days ago, I began mentally reciting John 3:30, "He must increase...". Just as I said "increase", I glanced to my right and caught a glimpse of myself in the glass wall surrounding the playground, and immediately, "my butt must decrease" popped in my mind. Word from the Lord, you think?

These are the thoughts that have plagued my brain this week. I know, I know...I'm a true intellectual. I ponder the world's great issues. How about you? Any random thoughts to share?