Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Woe is Me

I'm going to pull a David, so bear with me.
Last week, I officially came back to work with Channing. I've been off for about 8 1/2 months, so it's been an adjustment. Before taking off to have our second son, Asher, and to finally become a SAHM, I worked with Channing for about 3 years (give or take a few months). I was able to be off for about 4 months during that time to be with Tristan after he was born. When Tristan was 4 months old, we lost our front desk worker, so that meant me coming back. It was supposed to be temporary, but I was here for almost three years...with a baby! It was extremely stressful, so when we found out we were having baby #2, I knew I couldn't continue to work the office and take care of both boys at the same time. At that point, we began a job search. After a couple of failed attempts, we hired Gina. She was with us for about 9 months, and now she's gone on to work at our church. We're super excited for her because we feel it's more here calling, and we know that God has someone for us. However, with her loss I'm back...with 2 kids. Last week, Channing's mom kept the boys so I wouldn't have to bring them up here (she's so great!). It was a HUGE help, especially since Asher wasn't feeling well. She also came yesterday and kept them. Today, I'm on my own.
I was supposed to be here at 7:30, but getting both boys here and ready was more trouble than I had previously anticipated. Tristan slept later than usual, and Asher did not forget that he likes to eat as soon as he wakes up. I was frantically rushing around the house gathering clothes, diapers, snacks, etc. I poked my head in Asher's room, and my little sunshine was awake. Let me tell you, he didn't stay sunny for long! As soon as he realized he wasn't getting his morning latte, he freaked out. That was the start of chaos.
I grabbed him, sat him in the living room, turned on his Georgia fan video (we start 'em young), and listened to him cry as I ironed Tristan's clothes. Then Tristan woke up, I got him dressed, teeth brushed, hair fixed, breakfast ready, and we ran out the door. We made it to work at 8:30 (just a little late). We ran in to work for 15 minutes, then I had to load both boys back up to take Tristan to school. I dropped him off, got back to work, and finally fed Asher. I then put him in his pack n play for his nap (very late), but he didn't want to sleep because he wanted to check out all his new surroundings (ok moms who think schedules are important...I know you're freaking out with me). He did finally fall asleep (after about 30 minutes). His schedule is WAY off, and we're only through half the day.
This afternoon, I'll have both boys. I'll check patients in, do computer work, and answer phones all while chasing Asher around the office and removing whatever strange things he's found on the floor to put in his mouth and while fixing Tristan's DVDs, taking him to the bathroom, and fixing him snacks. Sound like fun? Well at some point, Asher will have a couple of meltdowns because he'll realize he's not being held, Tristan will freak out because it's a church night, and I'll lose my sanity...even if just for a moment. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
This is so stressful for me. However, like David who would begin a psalm with complaining, I'll end with praises to God. I have it so much better than so many. I am blessed with a happy healthy family. I have a wonderful husband, beautiful boys, and wonderful friends. I have a God who has nothing but the best planned for me. His Word says, "Commit to the Lord whatever you do and you plans will succeed." Prov. 16:3. I am standing, jumping, clinging to that verse. I am committing our office, our job search, my job as a mother and God. Thank you, God, that you are my eye in the sky. Thank you that you have a plan for me, even if I'm a little (ok, a lot) confused about it. I miss my life at home with my boys. I miss seeing and talking to my friends, but I can't wait to see what you have planned for me. I know it's better than I could have planned.


Rachael said...

AMEN! I am standing, jumping, and clinging to that verse with you, Annie. We love you!!!

annieck said...

Thank you SO much!!! Love you!

MorningSong said...

My heart is a little sad for you! I know this isn't how you planned to spend time with your boys!! I am praying God will send you a worker asap!! I also pray your business will double!!

I was watching something the other day and the pastor said "Never make a life change without a fast." Obviously your time is perfect for finding a much needed answer!


annieck said...

You feel sorry for me?! Yay! Score! I'm so kidding!!! I appreciate your sympathy. I felt a little sorry for myself yesterday. Pitiful, right?
Thank you for your prayers and words of wisdom. I think that pastor is right. This couldn't be a more perfect time for a fast!
Blessigs to you!

rachel said...

hey annie, just caught up on your blog (since i am jetlagging and up every morning at 3 i figure what better time to get caught up on blogs and emails :))- love your celebrity story (did you know nate worked at the dillard house for a few years in college?) anyway, love this recent post- you challenge me in such good ways. i have had a few "woe is me" days since being back in jordan but ultimately, like you, have to come back around to all the blessings that are around me- i am really trying to take every thought captive and replace it with the truth (boy it's a lot of work!! :)) you are a great helpmate to channing, he is blessed to have you beside him. we have been, and will continue to pray for the business. nate enjoyed his time with channing so much and hearing about his dreams for the future- we just think you guys are the best! we'll include a replacement hire in our prayers for you guys and the business!

by the way, fun fact, i noticed you have aaron schust on your blog- did you know he went to our same college and i just met his parents over christmas at a church we spoke at.

annieck said...

Channing told me Nate used to work at Dillard House. What a great place to work!!! I think I would be HUGE if I worked there. The food is awesome!
I love Aaron Schust's music. The song on my page is my most favorite. Jon and Leslie told me you guys went to school with him. That's so cool. And how neat that you met his parents! I had no idea you two were speaking at churches while you were here. NEAT!
Channing SO enjoyed his time with Nate. I know he'll miss those moring chats. I guess you two will just have to come visit really soon...again! ;)
As for feeling sorry for myself, it's easy for me to do, but it's something I'm working on. I am so blessed. I have so much to be thankful for. But sometimes, it feels good to complain for a minute, get it all out there, and then reflect on all of God's goodness.
We're praying for you guys!!!